The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
No the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying.
They just collected their money,
And send you on your way.
But you knew all along.
Went on pretending nothing was wrong.
You said I will keep my focus,
Till the end.
And in the journal you kept,
By the side of your bed.
You wrote nightly an aspiration,
Of developing as an author.
Confessing childhood secrets,
Of dressing up in woman's clothes.
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to.
Will everyone,
You ever meet or love,
Be just a relationship based,
On a false presumption.
Despite everyone,
You ever meet or ever love.
In the end,
Will you be all alone?
As the disease spreads slowly through your body,
Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs.
Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last.
The coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade.
As your hair thinned, as the weight fell off As your teeth blackened as the lesions spotted your skin,
As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage
As you often witnessed mortality in, exchange for the ticket price.
As the lights blended into the continuing noise.
As all hope was finally lost,
Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition
Let this be the end.
Let this be the last song.
Let this be the end.
Let all be forgiven.
They just collected their money,
And send you on your way.
But you knew all along.
Went on pretending nothing was wrong.
You said I will keep my focus,
Till the end.
And in the journal you kept,
By the side of your bed.
You wrote nightly an aspiration,
Of developing as an author.
Confessing childhood secrets,
Of dressing up in woman's clothes.
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to.
Will everyone,
You ever meet or love,
Be just a relationship based,
On a false presumption.
Despite everyone,
You ever meet or ever love.
In the end,
Will you be all alone?
As the disease spreads slowly through your body,
Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs.
Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last.
The coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade.
As your hair thinned, as the weight fell off As your teeth blackened as the lesions spotted your skin,
As you fell to your knees in the center of the stage
As you often witnessed mortality in, exchange for the ticket price.
As the lights blended into the continuing noise.
As all hope was finally lost,
Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition
Let this be the end.
Let this be the last song.
Let this be the end.
Let all be forgiven.
Lyrics submitted by LeaderoftheBandits
Searching for a Former Clarity Lyrics as written by
Lyrics © ROUGH TRADE PUBLISHING
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This song seemingly tackles the methods of deception those who manipulate others use to get victims to follow their demands, as well as diverting attention away from important issues. They'll also use it as a means to convince people to hate or kill others by pretending acts of terrorism were committed by the enemy when the acts themselves were done by the masters of control to promote discrimination and hate. It also reinforces the idea that these manipulative forces operate in various locations, infiltrating everyday life without detection, and propagate any and everywhere.
In general, it highlights the danger of hidden agendas, manipulation, and distraction, serving as a critique of those who exploit chaos and confusion to control and gain power, depicting a cautionary tale against falling into their traps. It encourages us to question the narratives presented to us and remain vigilant against manipulation in various parts of society.
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This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
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This is a sequel to 2001's "Reckless Abandon", and features the band looking back on their clumsy youth fondly.
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There aren’t many things that’ll hurt more than giving love a chance against your better judgement only to have your heart crushed yet again. Ed Sheeran tells such a story on “Page.” On this track, he is devastated to have lost his lover and even more saddened by the feeling that he may never move on from this.
Definitely the feelings of a person trying to emerge through society's gender mandates, and fearing that everything and everyone they know will reject them for being who they are.
Sadly, Laura's situation is definitely the uncommon reaction - she has been lucky to only lose one significant person, her father (thus her change of last name to her mother's maiden name). Too many of us lose everyone, and not always in a quick manner. So many friends proclaim their acceptance, and come to find that, hey, maybe they're not quite as liberal as they thought, and they have a hard time dealing with that divide in reality. So they slowly cut you loose so they can go back to feeling good about how societally forward they are.
What makes no fucking sense about this song is:
The comments of Internet people and journalists alike who discuss Laura and her transition and say ridiculous things such as, "He is a woman now!" No. SHE is a woman. Laura Jane Grace, the woman who wrote this song, is a woman and I don't know why anyone would refer to her in any other way.
I think that the disease is definitely a metaphor for dysphoria more than than anything else.
"As the disease spread slowly through your body Pumped by your heart to the tips of your arms and your legs Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last The coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade"
This perfectly describes my experience with dysphoria. In the worst throes of it, the single scariest thing about it is how little control you have over it. You can't shut it off, you can't stop it, and you fear that you're losing your mind to this...thing. And it just keeps coming back, slowly enveloping you more and more each time.
To me this song really talks a lot about issues ive had with anxiety the last months of my life and fits in exactly like how I would write them.
He talks about panic attacks in other songs and this one is just like that, the idea of losing control of your mind "as the disease spreads through your body"
Also with panic usually comes a need to know if theres something wrong with you like "No, the doctors didn't tell you that you were dying"
":Your greatest fear was that your mind wouldn't last The coherency and alertness would be the first things to fade"
thats a perfect description of the feeling of mental panic.
and the last line is like how you just want to kill yourself when your in panic, its the worst feeling you can have. If you somehow could you would kill yourself.
"As all hope was finally lost Adrenaline carried one last thought to fruition:"
Adrenaline made him kill himself, he had some will.
The last lines are the exact thoughts that run through peoples heads during mental panic and anxiety. I actually wrote once thoughts pretty much analog to his here. Its the worst feeling in the world.
This song is about Tom's (ahem...Laura's) gender dysphoria. Dying by AIDS (as previously mentioned) is irrelevant. The "lethal disease" is just a device used for the true feelings of the singer to manifest themselves. The subject of the song is faced with his own mortality, and as such realizes that no one he loves or cares about has ever met the real "him" (which in this case is a "her"). Instead of embracing this knowledge and sharing it with his loved ones, he clams up and remains distant. Via a journal, he reveals controlled bursts of information as memoirs that carefully construct an image he wants people to remember him as (so as not to disappoint his loved ones, since he himself has not yet come to terms with who "he" is.) This is further outlined in the lines where he expresses anxiety over losing his mental faculties. He needs to be alert and focused to keep up the charade life he has chosen. Until he dies.
It's interesting, because Laura only recently made her gender dysphoria public, so when this song was written, it is absolutely fascinating to see how cleverly she disguised her true feelings. She was very confused when she wrote this and obviously hadn't come to terms with herself yet or her feelings, but they were there all along!!! I figured you out, lead singer of Against Me!
Did you guys ever think to associate this song with Pretty Girls (The Mover)... hmmm.....
Also the main idea of this whole struggle in a mental panic is to grasp a former sense of clarity quite literally, everything just stops making sense. Complete confusion
I think it's interesting how several of their older songs hinted at Laura being a girl, and no one ever really caught it, but now it's so obvious.
sweet! first comment!
i just heard this song for the first time just now, and i have to say that it is quite good. sad song. i need to buy the album now.
A song worthy to title the album after.
Good job on another great album.