Shot clock.

by Bruised on November 06, 2012

Went to the campus health office today. To get better.

I mean, I caught a legitimately nasty cold over the weekend. But that was just a front I used. What I really wanted was an anti depressant prescription. The nurse told me I had pretty eyes. "They're so clear! Tell me those are contacts, are those fake?" Nurse, everything about me is fake.

I failed my math midterm. I lost my favorite shirt at the Rubiks cube party last weekend. My roommate and I are staying up late to watch the presidential results. But what's the point. Our government began falling apart a lot time ago.

Man, I feel like such a downer today. Best not to talk too much.

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Get a Grip.

by Bruised on October 29, 2012

Storms are consuming the country and all I can think about is that I need to get more sleep. Today I spent my classes gulping air, swallowing yawns. It's only monday, and I'm ready to collapse. Haven't rested for days, I've finally lost my mind.

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My soul can find no staircase to Heaven

by Bruised on October 23, 2012

Unless it be through Earth's loveliness. Michelangelo.

I like stairs. The winding wrap-around kind. When you climb to the top and look down to see the bottom floor framed by all of the steps you just walked.

Reminds me of those optical illusions. Penrose stairs. Never ending. My life is like that right now. There's no time to stop, breathe, and look at the view of what I've accomplished. I need a break.

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'94 Ford Explorer

by Bruised on October 19, 2012

I miss driving. The first thing I'm going to do when I arrive home for Thanksgiving break is jump behind the wheel and drive to the bluffs and watch the planes take off.

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Spotify.

by Bruised on October 13, 2012

Spotify has this glitch thing where you can't use the app if someone else on your plan is concurently using it. I always think of my dad  when I try to open my music it will say something like, "song can't be opened when another user is listening."

I don't mind, because I miss him and music is the only thing we share.

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Why am I so obssessed with this show?

by Bruised on August 09, 2012

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Learn my language.

by Bruised on July 31, 2012

I walked to Trader Joes early this morning, and no one was there but a deaf chashier.

The sign at his check out said, "Hello Customers, I am deaf. Please write your questions down and I will happy to help."

I stared at that pad of paper for half a minute, struggling to overcome an overwhelming desire to pick up the pen and write to him. But I smiled politely, signed, "thank you" and walked away.

Because that's what I do.

 

 

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So I'll be on my way.

by Bruised on July 29, 2012

My thoughts are so tangeld right now. Like my earbuds always are. I've spent the last hour trying to unwravel them.

Koda, you're on my mind all of the time. Your smile is contagious. You don't say much, but you make every word mean something. You're thoughtful and clever and charming in a way that no one else notices.

I hold on to those moments. Lifeguarding with you at the pool. We're required to wear sunglasses, but I can always tell when you're staring at me, and when I catch you, you smile in that bowed way, that makes my heart swells.

Today you wrote my name in a heart on the weekly pool schedule and I was tongue tied and unprepared. I weakly walked away and I'm kicking myself for my awkwardness. What is wrong with me? I want you. So bad. What is wrong with me?

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July 20, 2012

by Bruised on July 20, 2012

I don't have to work until noon today, so naturally, instead of sleeping in, I decided to wake up early to catch the 2005 adaption of Pride and Prejudice of FX.

I am so aware of how cliche it is for a book obsessed 18 year old girl to have a literary crush on Mr. Darcy, but I just can't help it. I'm naturally attracted to stoic characters, maybe because I'm habitually a bit stoic myself. I like that Darcy's charming, yet reserved, and also cynical and witty. Yeah, that's pretty much sums up my type of guy. He's also easy for me to relate to, in terms of his lack of social grace.  It was easy to catch that he wasn't exceedingly prideful, as his first impression portrayed, but maybe just introverted. Through the whole first half of the book and through all of Elizabeth's hasty criticisms, I was begging her to give the poor man a break.  "Elizabeth, I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with people I have not seen before." Duh, Elizabeth, the guy's just shy...

And I don't intend to be so harsh on Elizabeth's character either. I like her too and as a 19th century English literature fangirl, I'm glad those two misunderstood lovebirds ended up together in the end.

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Macabre,

by Bruised on July 08, 2012

I spent the whole afternoon with your in your living room watching episode after episode of Supernatural. Why do you hate Sam so much? You mock his sensitivity, but you're just as sensitive. Surely, you're cognizant of that.

Later you ask, "why haven't we done this through all of high school? We could have finished the whole series by now!"

I know that was a rhetorical question, Justin, but I'll tell you why.
The first two years of high school, I was so shamelessly self involved that I refused to give you the time of day. And the last two years of high school, you were shamelessy absorbed with the love of your life and I realized too late how much I missed your friendship. Classic tale as old as time.

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