helenpanker's Journal

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    by helenpanker on May 07, 2013

    last night seemed so cheery

    this morning you turned rancid

    your harsh words sting my wounds

    you speak battery acid

    you've plucked all the feathers 

    from the bird in my heart

    delicate monogomy 

    and now its all ripped apart

    now move onto the girls

    who can handle new york

    no one gives a shit

    that your colors turned dark

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    by helenpanker on May 02, 2013

    i wonder if you dream 

    in colors unknown to human

    in colors that surround

    unknown fuschias and fuisons

    you make the sweetest sounds

    when you breath in New York

    and will the city sleep 

    when your colors turn dark

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    by helenpanker on April 28, 2013

    I am not my fathers favorite kid

    not my fathers favorite son

    because he's already got one

     

    I go for alot of walks

    and I buy diet soda pop

    because Im afraid of calories

    please dont be upset with me

     

    I met a girl

    she had a face like a skull

    and thighs as thick as cream

    she was not in love with me

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    by helenpanker on March 23, 2013

    sugar water red sunlight shines through the botttle

    hummingbird glistened all shattered and rattled 

    floats invisible wings never sleeps

    i dont know if they even have feet 

    1 Comment
  • fuck

    by helenpanker on March 12, 2013

    this assholes got the power

    to drop my mood to new lows

    if you dont call the abuse well

    im not accusing im telling

    No Comments
  • tttt

    by helenpanker on March 10, 2013

    you as a man must remember 

    you are a part of moving force

    that keeps my body from freedom

    and strikes the fear in my heart

     

    are you fourteen and curl your fists 

    so the man walking towards you

    will no that hes not entightled 

    you dont have time for cat calls

     

    and yes I hate my body

    like every other girl you know

    my self worth is defined by tredmills

    and the fingers down my throat

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  • im made of

    by helenpanker on March 09, 2013

    im made of music 

    but dont touch me

    im an acoustic 

    cacophony 

    you feel the treble

    in my heart 

    or feel the bass

    when your in my arms

    please dont go baby

    stay for a while

    finger my chords babe

    beguile 

     

    i want you to stay

     

    it feels like I've always wanted it to

    it feels like

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    by helenpanker on February 17, 2013

    little vixen run away like you should

    on highheels and across the wood

    little fox the night time feels so wrong

    run inside where you know you belong

     

    and he says

    its your fault its your fault 

    its your fault its your fault

    little girl big body 

    little girl big body 

    you stand tall

     

    move your hands to the beat

    let your body mimic trees

    bite and nip open laughter

    you dont have to be like her

    thin and white is not nature

    you dont have to be like her

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  • tmmjjj

    by helenpanker on February 08, 2013

    i love my baby 

    but my baby doesnt love me back

    he says im going 

    and when im going that means im not coming back 

    but isnt a sweet dream?

    holding my baby

    im having a panic attack

    well i went to my mother and my mother said 

    you can be sad honey but dont hate men

    so I picked up a bottle and got on my bike

    and I got hit by a car tonight, tonight

    isnt it a sweet dream holding my baby?

    and having a panic attack?

     

    im having a panic attack!

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    by helenpanker on February 07, 2013

     

    thick strokes 

    thick strokes

    long strokes

    body fat slides 

    to mine 

    look in his eyes

    and its so slow

     

    its hold me 

    hold me

    please just

    closer than

    my eyes

    shine up to you

    and its so slow

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