Today wasn't too bad.

I wasn't too happy about lunch though.
We ditched this weird girl that sits with us.
And I looked over and she looked sad and lonely... I felt bad.

After school, this girl asked me about my English class, last quarter... because apparently my teacher brought my name up.
Something about me being good at figuring out what words meant.
----
Then I was unlocking my car to go home, and this kid (Who I'm pretty sure has been in my class before) said Hey.. so I gave a head nod.. and hes like "Would you mind giving me a ride, I only live right over there"
Alright.

So he gets in the car, and he's like "I'm Ace" I believe he said.
((That wasn't his name in the class, maybe its a nickname)
But he as wearing an army uniform.

And he heard I had country on the radio... I Was about to say "If you want to mess with the radio, you can"
But he said
"Your listening to Country?? Turn that Up!"
"You like country?"
"Yeahh"
Then he told me about how he's been to concerts.

I drop him off, and turns out he lives Right next door to my friends sister.
-But he gave me like 3 handshakes.
And I'm guessing I'll be giving him a few more rides in the future.

--Note, though. If it IS the same guy that I have had in class, then he has changed a Lot.

------
Also, sometimes I hate having my mom in facebook. She sees Everything of mine before I get to..
so when I'm tagged or messaged.. she usually sees it first.. and it's annoying.. Its My stuff.

Yeah.
I guess that's my day.
so
Au Revoir.

Today was a really fun day.

But basically everything I would say about today will just be a repeat of previous journals.

But some isn't .. like this.
We went to a park, that I have never been to before.
When we were driving up to it.. I realised.. OMG I Dreamed About this Park!!! It looked pretty much Exactly the same.. all the hills were deffinately the same...

And I was like WOAH My God. It was creepy. I dreamt about a park that I've never been to!.
It's a really fun park though!
-------
And It is still frustrating me with that girl I like...
I can't hang out with her without thinking about how I like her.
It's frustratingly frustrating!!
Frowny Face.
-------

Hmm.. that's all I can think of.

So, yeah..

Au Revoir.

In addition to the last post. because I forgot about it.

I, again, feel like moving.

To start fresh. Rid myself of my passed mistakes and be reborn into a new world (town).

Because, I feel that I'm not an odd person where people wouldn't want to talk to me. I can feel that there are more popular people that don't find me an untouchable.. but the fact that I grew up with that tag makes me feel that I'm not the full person I could be.
And, maybe, if I moved, I'd be more of who I'm supposed to be in my social life.

Because I'm not the nerdy, quiet kid who you don't really talk to.
I'm quiet, yes... I'm not "cool" yes.. but I'm not like I used to be.

I usually spend my summer vacation thinking "I've changed..." but then go back to school and realise I haven't changed.
But this summer was different.

I spent it thinking "I've changed" and I came back to school actually Feeling like I've changed.

So yeah. I want to move.
----
I'm starting to break away from my one group of friends more and more.
I haven't talked to half of them since, like, Last year.. and the other two I still hang out with, but I find myself veiring (sp?) off of their group.
But I have a whole other group of people that I like (as friends). They are the ones I sit with at lunch, and hang out with after school.
And at lunch, there is this girl who sits there, and I'm probably going to start being her friend, because she talked to me today as if there wasn't any barrier between us. So that is good.
She is also friends with 2. ... that is how I first "met" her.

So I may have gotten the short end of the stick for my new English class... but it made up for it in my lunch group.

But yeah, I felt like i had to say that.

So.
Au
Revoir
Again.

S
A
R
A
(It's not relevant, just a coincidence)

Do you want to know a secret?
I watched UP!
And I cried... a lot.

That was a really sad movie. I won't say anything about it because I don't want to give anything away, but It was really sad... and it kept bringing the sadness into the movie, and It made me really sad.

Then it made me really want a hug.. But I really don't have anyone to give/receive hugs.
But when we turned off the movie, The Office was on and Andy said "I need a hug... unless you're going to give me one"

I thought that was odd.

I went to bed, and my dog followed me upstairs.. so I turned around and pet her. Then she headed towards me door. I told her no, because my room is a mess... But I thought it was weird that she chose That night to want to sleep in my room.
---------

I really need to get away from the world for a little bit.
I'm sick of it at the moment.

People are annoying me, and the world has just gotten too everyday for me. If you know what I mean?
-----

Today after school I started getting really paranoid.
I got into my car, and I just felt off.
And while driving, I felt like something was not right.
Then I was waiting for a red light.. and I turned my head for like 2 seconds, and I hear a car honk... the light changed green... I hope he wasn't honking at me...
But I go to turn, and I still have to wait anyways because I'm taking a left turn.. so now I REALLY hope he wasn't honking at me, that douche bag.

Then I'm driving and I just feel wrong... And I'm having a minor freak out... minorly minor.
I went to the Library... and I'm walking in the Isle, and images of horror movies popped in my head... because it felt very Horror Movie-esque.

Yeah,

I guess that is my day(s)?

soo.
Au Revoir.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...
I want to be famous.

I want to be in movies.
I want to be on a fun TV Show.
I want to host SNL.
I want people to love me.
Or even hate me.
I want to be known.

I don't want to live the life of some less than average 9to5 employee.
I don't want to waste my life in boredom.
I want to have fun
I want to be part of things.
I want to be recognized.

It's hard to believe, but a handful of my friends do NOT want to be famous. They would rather keep their life.
So Maybe it's not all that cliche that I want to be a celebrity.

Yeah, I don't want people constantly giving me attention. I don't want tons of paparazi.
But I do want to be famous.
And crowds are something I could get used to, I guess.

But it gets me upset when I think about it.. because it's just a stupid pipe dream.
And I know I'm going to grow up to be a loser employee who has nothing out of life.

My life is going nowhere fast.

People think I'm funny.
And the few people that have read my poems have said they liked them..
So I can't say I have no chance in the industry.
I could be an actor... with a little practice.. I don't think I'd do That bad.
------------

I just want to experience the fame.
Being on set and realising I'm not average.
Realising that people love me. And that I am doing something worthwile. I want that excitement
------------

Is it Too Much to Ask???
lol.. it is... but I wish it wasn't.

Yeah... post two for the day.
My wish list.

Au Revoir.

We got our new classes today.

I don't have to go to school until 9:00 now. Instead of the normal 7:30.
Second Hour stays the same.
Third hour changes to English.
Fourth hour stays.

I don't like my new English class.

It is FILLED with those popular jerks. I hate it.
It'd be one thing if it were the popular nice people... There's people who are Popular, and you know they are, but they aren't jerks, and think they are all that... at least not in the sense that the jerks are.

And it's basically All guys.

There are only 2 people in it that I am friends with. 1 who I am aquainted with because of Math class. That's it.
But this one kid looks like he might not be that popular and jerky... so I have hopes he won't be bad.
------------

Sleeping in a bit longer is pretty nice, but I realised last night that I lost my mornings alone.
I used to have a chance of having 30 minutes to myself in the morning, depending on if my dad worked or not.
I'd use this time to relax, listen to music, watch youtube videos. Stuff I don't do when people are in the room, due to rudicity.

But now I don't have that.. so now I only have Friday and Saturday nights if my parents go to bed before me.
-------------------
I do like my new lunch. It's the whole gang that I usually hang out with.
Except every other day some of them switch off.
So that's cool.
------

Soo, I guess that is my day.

So
Au Revoir.

Tonight was a really fun night.

I think we said "That's What She Said" about 100 times each.

But the girl that I liked last year was there... and I know I've said this already, but I still like her.
And I don't really realise it until we hang out like this, because we sit and watch movies, and talk and stuff, and I realise I like her.

But it's too bad because she has a boyfriend.
And it frustrates me..

Gbfia, I'm frustrated.
-------
Other news.. today was the last day of the quarter.
I get rid of two classes and start one new one.
So I now don't have to go to school for first hour, and my 3rd hour is Literature. I feel I'm going to hate it.

BUT . . I now have lunch with my friends that I hung out with today.. I think it's every single one of them, some every day.. some every other day.
The one I've been liking is every other day.

I guess that is my news.
I'm really tired.

Soo
Au Revoir.

I didn't get to post this last night, so I'm shortening it (just because I don't want to give a whole story about a previous day) and posting it today.
-----

After school, I hung out with this kid in my class..
Went to subway-had subway... later his mom brought us McDonalds, so I had a big fast food day.
And I forgot that I know his mom. She was a teacher-helper in my freshman s.s. class, and apparently she still remembers me. I didn't think she would.

We met at the library, and leaving the Library after I met him, I was pulling out of my parking space, and I swiped a car with the corner of my car.
I hope there isn't a scratch.
I remember pulling out thinking "EHHH That car is really close.... cshh (The noise of the touch)"
OOPS. I looked and didn't really see anything.. so I kept driving.
Although I think i did see a little bit of a paint alteration.
Ikes. I'm not used to pulling out of parking spots.. I've only done it once before.. Every other time, I've always been able to get my car to face outward, because of an adjacent parking spot.

Now I have to go do finals. Today I have English and Math.
My two hardest finals.

It's my last day of this english class, and I'm pretty sad about it, actually.

Well, Wish me luck!

Au Revoir.

This is inspired by the fact that all the socially awkward girls have a thing for me... and it's cuz I'm too nice.
---------
Odd girls love me
What can I say
When they come up to me
I don’t make ‘em go away
I’m too polite
When they tell me ‘bout their day
Yeah, Odd girls love me
But it’s the price that I pay

They’re sitting there hiding behind chemistry books
You see them reading
I catch them giving me looks
They come up to me, tell me about Boron
I don’t know what that is, she must think I’m a moron
But no
She teaches me it’s atomic weight
And the fact that I listen, she thinks she’s got a date

At lunch, find ‘em all at the table furthest away
It’s right by the bathroom, so I give them spray
They take it too far
Think I’m showing them love
It’s just a kind gesture
Don’t know what they’re thinking of

I go to my locker to get my coat
I hear a strange voice say “My mom has a goat”
I look up to see the girl that sits by me in French
No one else sits by her cuz she has a bad stench
But I’m too nice to say take a shower
So I have to deal with my nose burnin’ all hour

I hop on the bus, and I see her in the back
She sees me and almost has a heart attack
I don’t get what the big deal about me is
Until she goes in her backpack, and pulls out her Cheez Whiz
Then dips in a piece of her strawberry gum
And asks me if I wanna try some

To anyone else, this would be too gross
The kid on her right side up and bolts
But I stay, ‘cause she’d be alone if I left
I have a conscience, and that’s what I regret

She invites me to her party
Of course I’m gonna go
I’m trying to be late
But I’m the first one to show
So now I’m sitting on the couch with her dog named Puffer Snuffer
I’d hate to be that dog, he sees too much of her

Finally everyone else arrives
They’re all dressed up as Harry Potter guys
Little did I know, there’s a quidditch match tonight
They’ve dubbed me seeker, Wow, I’m in Nirvana
Actually, I’m not, I really don’t wanna
Don’t think I can beat this? Just watch me, I’m gonna

Oh, I broke my arm, accidentally
I’m at the doctors, and the party followed me
Since the game wasn’t finished, they took their book out and read it
Said “This is how the game was supposed to have ended”

I’m in the waiting room, not waiting for them to fix my bone
Just waiting for curfew, so I can have some time alone

Odd girls love me
What can I say
When they come up to me
I don’t make ‘em go away
I’m too polite
When they tell me ‘bout their day
Yeah, Odd girls love me
But it’s the price that I pay

Today in class, someone was telling me about how at lunch someone asked her if she knew ".1 and me" and said she thinks we like eachother.
Idk who this person is.
But I'm pretty sure I decided I don't like her anymore.
She doesn't really have much of a sense of humor, and she's crabby a lot.

We all went to Banana Republic.

There was this scarf there that I actually wanted.
And also these sunglasses.

I think I actually looked good on those ones... but Idk, I didn't really see what I looked like, But I was feeling it,
Same with the scarf... it matched my coat and hoodie, and hair, and belt. All things I am always wearing when I would need a scarf.

I didn't even look to see the price.. i forgot to look.

I need to go shopping. I need to get a shopping buddy and go shopping this weekend. Someone who will actually shop though. in all seriousness. Our mission is to buy at least something.

And I still want to go to GoodWill.

Hmm.. that's all I can think of for today.

Sooo Au Revoir

I am in love with Taylor Swift's song Jump Then Fall.
It Is AmAZing!

Ohh, Taylor Swift. I love Taylor Swift.
----
I listened to that song about 4 times before school. 3 times on the computer, once on the ride to school.
It put me in the BEST mood during school. It made me hyper and excited and amazing.
---
We got the judgements of our speeches we made in English back today.
Every student judged each speech.

I got really good comments.
Not a single bad comment.
--The ComPLETE opposite of the project I did at the beginning of the year.. those all said stuf about my bad eye contact, and bad vocal presentation.
THIS one said stuff like Great eye contact and Great voice.

AwESOme!
---
Math, I actually connected with all the other people in my group today.. all the more popular people.
I started talking to this one kid about a presentation this one kid did, and one of the most popular girls in school was like "OMG I Heard about that!! I can't believe he did his project on that!"
And then we said what it was, and others joined in.. other popular people.
and the girl was like "Yeah, he is so weird." then told me a story about something he did to her one day..

So that was nice.
-------
French, I was just not in the mood for french... it went straight through me.. even stuff that I knew well.
But I was really hyper in that class.
And my teacher thuoght I was REALLY weird because I connected the moles on my arm. (They aren't ugly moles, they look like big frekles)
----
After school I gave 1. a ride home.
I think I've decided I don't like her like that anymore.
She just always seems to be complaining about Something.
And when I see her in the halls, she never has any enthusiasm to say Hi.

So for right now... 2. is #1 on my list. We seem to connect a lot better.
And she reminds me of taylor swift, personality wise. And body figure wise too. So that probably biases my vote, but it's really not like a bad bias.
-------------

I feel like I had something else to say, but I can't think of anything else.
So

Au Revoir.

I picked you up out of the pouring rain
I figured everything would stay the same
Just like it always has

Making our way throughout the day
We’re taking our time, and that’s ok
‘Cause that’s how you make things last

Well, I didn't know that
You were alone and
You didn't have to go back home

I could have kept driving
Just you and I then
We wouldn't need to go right now
Everything would work out

But you waved goodbye
With your head sunk low
I thought that meant you wanted me to go

So I pulled out of the drive
Following the head lights
Looking for reasons to keep it alright

I never thought it'd be so hard
For me to leave behind something I'm not used to

I caught up to the morning sun
I saw you undoing what has been done

You were running along
And you were singing that song
That we heard before I dropped you home

You said you couldn't get to sleep that night

And you were alone
Well, you didn't have to go back home

I could have kept driving
Just you and I
And we could have waiting for the morning light
We didn’t have to say goodbye

No, we didn’t have to say goodbye

Today started off good... ended on a lesser note.

English, we didn't do much at all.
Math we just worked on our work.
Web Design, before class even started I could tell she was in a bad mood.
I was talking with my friends before the bell, and she came out in the hall and just stood there, without a happy face, like she usually has. The bell rings so I say buy, and me and my friend who is also in that class go in, but she shuts the door almost all the way. We get in and she has a mad look on her face.
Next thing we know, she is YELLING at us. Almost in tears, because we had a sub yesterday and we didn't do out work, we kinda just sat around.
She got rid of her 'tude quickly, but she marked us all tardy.

French, we had a sub, she was nice. But the people who sit around me were all being mean to me. Telling me to shut up because I was reading the homework aloud.. and they just kept being mean to me.
Most of it was a joking mean, but some I dont think it was.
Ugh.

Then I get to my locker, and 1. is there. She looks upset, and starts ranting about how she didn't do good on her test, and has a crappy volleyball team.
I understand...
But she was dramaqueening it on the test issue, I think.

Driving us all home, a cop car starts following me. What The Hell? I didnt do anything. I pull over, but he keeps passing. Then the fire truck comes out of the fire department.
I'm safe.

And now my whole family is in a pissy mood.
So I'm not in a good mood right now, I want to leave and go somewhere, but I cant.

errrrrere..

I really hate today... I just want to be alone.

Au Revoir.

You know, I don't like the whole going to college idea.
And I've completely neglected it.
ACT??? To hell with it. I should have taken it Last year.
I haven't given it a lick of thought.
So I'm pretty much butt-fucked.

I'm going to be going to the reject community college.
-----------------
But, I want the whole college experience.
The freedom of the college experience.

Like on Community. I want that.
But going to college for me is just going to be a more expensive High School.
I will be living at home. Still have the whole guarded life that I do now.
It will all be the same.... just more expensive.
-----------------
I think it would be cool to go to a Tennessee community college. That way I will actually MOVE to Tennessee.

I'm not actually going to move if my college is in my home city.
I'm going to end up just living here my whole life.

Not that I don't like it here... I do.
I just don't like a lot of the people.
And I hate the weather... it's too cold.

BUT This week has been SOO Friggen nice. It's like spring. Such the contrairy of last week, which was like winter.
----
So I guess this is time for:

Au Revoir.

Let's not play a love game.

So, you all know I kinda like 1. Annie, right?
...Well I kinda do.
---
So I get to my locker after school and she was waiting by my locker because she wanted a ride.
Alright. I can give her a ride.

Well as I pull out of the school, she tells me "Go straight. I don't want to go home."

And all I could think was... "This is like a love song"
"Please Don't Drive Me Home" - At The Stars
"I wanna stay right here in this passenger seat" - Fearless

Etc.
So That was a nice moment. So we drove around a little bit.
(But I was so tired.. at school I was planning on just going home and falling asleep).

But the problem that made me start thinking was that I think she might be careless with money.
She wanted a bunch of food, and she was telling me how when she has kids, she doesn't care how much it costs, if they want to do something, she isn't going to take them out of it.
-I'm really stingy with money. I'm pretty cheap, it's almost like I'm a full-blooded Jew.

-Driving out of there, she wanted to go somewhere else, but it was across the highway, so I'd need to do a U-Turn, and I have no idea where we are going, because she didn't say.

So I make my U Turn, and an oncoming car is oncoming. Well, I figured they saw me in their lane, and they would slow down. Nope. They kept their speed until close to me, laying on their horn like a jackass.
I know I didn't make the best move, but she could have done better on her part.
(And I'm assuming it's a girl... I felt a PMS vibe coming from that horn).
-----------
For the most part, it was nice. Just hanging out for an hour after school. But it just made me think about the fact that I kinda like her, and making me come to reality that I'm not a relationship person.
Which I always end up doing.

I'm just not a relationship person. I must not have that gene.
I can't take being close to someone. Once I start getting close, I end up pushing myself away. I start to nit-pick, and find flaws, and I can't deal with them... and I'm afraid of getting close.
-----------
Yeah. Well I haven't posted in forever.
I was kind of happy that I found inspiration.

Au Revoir.

I went to the doctor today.

Apparantly my blood pressure is kinda of high.
She said it was borderline high. So it's not high, but it's close.
130/80

I got two shots. So one of my arms hurts. If I didn't get that shot, they would have kicked me out of school, and charged us 25 dollars a day or something like that.
------

Then I went to do my school project. The video tape of a commercial.
Amazingly we finished.
It's pretty hilarious.

During the writing of it, someone calls one of our partners and we hear her say "OH MY GOD!!!" When she hangs up, I asked if everything was alright, and she said that the girl she was talking to, her step brother killed her (the girl she was talking to) dad.
Thats soo bad.
---
The persons house we lived at started playing Rock Band, even though we were supposed to be working.
He did Nine In The Afternoon, special request from me.

He told me to sing it. I said no. But I really wanted to.
I just was embarassed and shy. so I didnt.
But I want to.

I love that song.

So now I want to play rock band.
I just want to sing that song.
---------
I guess that was my day.

Au Revoir

So I hung out with the people I went to homecoming with, tonight.

Blast.

I learned that 1. Annie is not that great to watch a movie with.
She gets too into it, and doesn't like any communication. So she gets mad when you talk. That's not really a good way to watch a movie, just watching the movie, i mean.

We watched THe Proposal.
Halfway through, when the wedding part started coming up... I started realising I'm still alone.
It was sad.
Sometimes all I want is just a person I can watch a movie with, and snuggle up together. (I don't like that word, snuggle. But It's better than cuddle. They all sound so feminine)
You know, though?

But otherwise I had lots of fun.

Though, I should get to bed. I have a doctors appnt in the morning. I gotta get 2 shots and a physical.
I hate physicals. I don't want someone touching me in certain areas.
Then right after that I have to work on a project.
We are friggen improving our video for the English project.
This is retarded.

I just watched the Breakfast Club for the first time.

I really liked it.

-
Spoiler
-
I hate that Brian was left alone at the end.
Everyone else had a nice leave with one other, but Brian was left alone with his paper and himself. All he got was the punch on the shoulder that he gave to himself.

It was cute though.
.... yeah?.
------------------
But that kinda made me want an 8 hour saturday detention.

Just to have an experience like that.

Break out of the clique for just a bit.

I really don't have a clique. I'm not classified as anything.
I just have friends.
But there are people in cliques.
--------------------------------------------------------------


Life seems to be getting SO much better for me.
I've said this a lot lately, and I'm repeating myself a lot, but it's true.

My friendships with my aquaintances are building, and my friendships with my friends are becoming stronger.

I actually have people who stop to talk to me.
Not because they have to, but because they want to.

I get invited to things on weekends. Not because they feel obligated, but because they enjoy my company.

I am not just an awkward face anymore. I'm not just a quiet figure.
I'm a person.

I'm still not noticed by a lot of people, but I'm noticed by a lot more people. I'm noticed by a few more people who matter.

And i'm liking it.

Alright, without further repetition, I will go.
Au Revoir.

Homecoming day!

I tried my shirt on for the first time. I love it.
It's soft, and an amazing blue, and fits, and just looks sweet.

I need to wear dress clothes more often!
----------

So.. I had a good time.

We had a fancy dinner at my friends house
like, a 5 course meal. with Candles and properly placed silverware
Salad
Dinner
Dessert
Dessert #2
ok 4 course

We get to the dance, they split guys and girls up into two different lines. Lame.
We waiting in line forever, my and my friends boyfriend.
Then we finish and the girls are still in line.. the line is ever worse!
We finally all get out, but then have to wait in ANOTHER line to put our coats away.
That was like 40 minutes of our dance.

I saw two people I know who said "OH MY GOD YOUR HERE! YOU LOOK AMAZING! You should wear that everyday!"
Then soon later, "OMG! You Look So Cute!"
Then more like that later on.

I didn't dance at first.. I just stood there awkwardly as well as my friend and her boyfriend.
Busted my ear drum, pretty much.
I had random guys butts rubbing on me.
And beeing pushed by the "motion of the ocean"
I did do the "Right foot stomp, left foot stomp" dance.

But then later on, I started joking around with lame dances, then it got into actually dancing..... poorly.

But I danced the rest of the night.
Poorly.

But it was fun.
Then one girl who I know (Who's kinda whorish... not skanky, but she gets around)
She started dancing with me during that "Jump on it" song.
And she was like Grind dancing me, or whatever. I wasn't used to it.

Then this boy who everyone thinks is weird... He is a big Dork. Not really in the good way.. started dancing in my group... like a dork.
And at one point he grabbed my arms and started dancing with me.. I'm like "uhmm... ohkkkay"
---
I felt like Jim from the Office during it. And the boyfriends girlfriend was Pam.
Because I kept looking over at her, and she would look at me, and we'd both give some facial expression.

And later in the dance, this nerdy girl came by us and danced, and it was Priceless.
And I looked at my friend, and gave a huge smile, and she did the same. And we kept looking at eachother and laughing.
And I thought "Wow, this is like Pam and Jim"
--
I attempted the Electric Slide.
I got to dance a Liiitle bit with 1. Annie. Wasn't the type or time I wanted.

I made a new friend. She's a foreign exchange student.
I felt bad because I could barely understand her... but that's just me, I can't even understand fluent English people.
But some of her accent was so cute. I took pictures of her, and she didn't want them, she had her pillow over her face in them all, and she's like "You already took pictures of me" "No, you had a pilow over you" Then we are arguing about how they don't count.
"Ok.. you can delet (pronounced dee-let). You prefer this one?"
"Yes" "Ok, (Then presumes to delete) "NONO, that one you keep" "No, you said you prefer to delet" "You Are A Tricky Girl!!"

haha it was fun.
----
Then we went back to my friends house and watched a movie. It was me and 7 girls. They all slept over, I couldnt..
But I stayed til 2:30 cause we watched a movie.
-----

That's about it I guess.

I feel like I'm missing something, but I can't think of it.
------------------------------
Off topic.
My car singing voice is getting so much better.
At first it SUCKED. It was so nervy.
Then it was better, I was less shy, but it still sucked.
But now I'm not shy with it, and I actually sing, and It's not that bad, I think.

I only do it alone, though. Have yet to car-sing in front of people.
Except for "Row Row Row Your Boat"

-----------------
Personal Quotes of today
"That sign is flashy"
"This is a peaceful couch" "Well, then take some peas out of it!"
[About a sign literaly on fire] "That sign is cool!" "it's on fire" "Get it?"
"Don't push the cushion out from under you!!"
"Come sit on Papa's lap!"
There was more, i thought, but I can't think of them


Au Revoir.

Homecoming Weekend!

It is starting off pretty darn good.

Half day of school.
We got donuts in english class.

But I got a 64% on my test... the teacher saw me walk in the room and said my name three times. I said "I know, it's [my id] in my pocket"
"No, that's not what I'm talking about" Then she motioned me to come.
"Did you study?"
"Did I do bad?? Yeah, I did, because I skipped a lot of questions"
"yeah... but it's a good thing.... (I missed the last part

I like that teacher... she is so nice.
When other teachers would be real mad at me, she is so calm and kind.
---
Math.. we just played games.. it was boring.

Then Thats it.
---
I went to subway with my two friends, but I saw 1. Annie on my way to my locker... I said I'd give her a ride, but then we decided she will go to Subway with us, even though she didn't know my friends.

I baught her sub. She didn't want a drink

But half way through my drink, she put a straw in it and we shared the drink.
!!!!!!!!!

Then I dropped her off, and me and the other two went and watched a movie. My one friend kept asking if I liked her, I wouldn't answer.. partially because the other girl likes me, I guess.
But when I was giving the girl a ride home, she freaked out and asked me, so I told her.

So that's about it...


Up next is Homecoming Football Game.

Idk how much will happen there.

I think I saw you standing alone
Crying his name
Looking for home

I think I saw you standing alone
Crying his name

Oh, it's not easy
Bidding your heart away
And it's not easy
Watching it all blow up in flames

I saw a man
Black tie
Leather hands
I saw him walk into the water
He walked before your father

He said he couldn't see straight
I took a look at his face
Something wasn't right
I didn't know until it was too late

I saw you with him days before
He was standing at your door
That's when the lights went out
You just didn't notice yet

I watched a cab drive away
It started off the parade
I didn't know what to say
But I stayed
There wasn't any way I could leave

I saw your father by the window
His face was warm
His eyes were cold
He was telling a woman in a long black dress
That when the moon finds the sun
The day will fall down
And the night will have won

Her eyes were cross
For his words were off
She didn't know what he was talking about
I knew
Well, he's your father
But, I just couldn't go

I think I saw you standing alone
Crying his name

I think I saw you standing alone
Crying his name
Looking for home

Well I don't know where time brings you
All I know is it cut through
Everything
Everything you had
And I don't know if there's still light
But they say the futures bright
They key to it all
It's sitting in your hands

Oh, it's not easy


---------
I tried to make it dramatic, not another Boy love girl.
So here's what I at least was TRYING to say

A boyfriend and girlfriend are together
Dad doesn't like the boyfriend in the first place
Boy and Girl get busy
Girl gets pregnant
Dad finds out.
Kills the boy
There at the funeral
Dad's telling this girl (in code) that he killed the boy
I kill the dad
The girl is sad, cuz she lost the two men in her life.

Is it wrong to want perfection out of life?

I'm not a perfectionist... no where near... but there are some big pictures that I want perfect.

Like relationships.
I have this image in my mind of what I want out of a relationship.
This is what I want, and this is what I look for.

But is it wrong to be looking for this?
Am I supposed to be looking for love, or is love supposed to find me?

Maybe you're meant to be with a certain person, and maybe that person won't give what you want.
But you make it work?

I don't know.
But I was watching "Away We Go" last night, and it reminded me of what I want.
I want a love where you are Literaly the "other half."

Everyone says their significant other is their "other half." but it's not always true. It's just a shallow phrase. I want the real deal.

I want little surprises.

I want cute stories that make your day brighter than you thought possible.
I want stories that turn into tradition.

I want it all.

But is it bad that I'm looking for this?
Or am I supposed to let it find me?

-'Cause last night, I started thinking. And I think I'm back down to not liking anymore.

1. Annie, she never seems happy when she sees me in the hall. Whenever I know she can see me, I'll wave, or say 'hey,' but her response is always a slight wave, with not much facial expression.
It's not like a bitchy tone, it's just effortless, and lacks emotion.
Maybe I'm just taking it too personal?

2. Annie, it seems like we are getting closer. Not like Close closer, but more like, aquainted closer. But I'm not sure about liking her anymore. Although she seems like more of a type I'm looking for.

And then Taylor, I gave that up a while ago.

--I suck at this relationship thing.
I've never been good at it.

I can never actually truely like someone. Either I don't find the right people, or I just make a mess out of it. I think it's a bit of both.

I want to know how long this will last, because I hope it isn't stained.

hmmmm... well I guess that's all.
I was going to do a Porky the Pig impression here, but I thought that was too tasteless for this topic.

so.
Au Revoir.




----
Away from this specific topic.... I want memories. It's sad when your own life doesn't even read you bedtime stories.

I'm tired of making them up myself.

------

Edited now.... my english class has a project to make a commercial using propoganda. It could be fun. 2. Annie is in that class.
I wrote a jingle for it in my math class.
"If your stockings have holes
And you can see your toes
Don't try to mend it
Just buy new clothes
You will feel sweet
With new socks on your feet
So don't try to mend the holes
Get out and buy new Clothes!!"

Yeah.

Au Revoir encore.

It's amazing how just a couple of words can dramatically change your outlook on the day.

10 minutes before school ended I thought: "Hey, I'm going to go on songmeanings when I get home and talk about my good day. I just feel today was really good"

but then my teacher plays this song, and no one really wanted to listen to it, but we did, cuz we had to.
It was ending, so I told my partners "This reminds me of school house rock"
We started a little conversation about it, forgetting the song was technically still playing.
My teacher got SOOO MAD and upset. And it's basically all my fault.

So I ended the day in a bad mood. And I just felt like such a bad person.

Then, being in my bad mood... this girl who annoys me (Who talks to me all the time) asked for a ride home. She always wants a ride to or from school.
UGH. I wanted to be in peace.

BUT I drop her off and drive home, and guess what the radio played.
YOU BELONG WITH ME.
For some reason, everytime I am in a Really bad mood going home, Taylor Swift plays on the radio. I love it.

---------
I'm going to jot down some things about today, in case you care.

•Before school, I saw Annie #1 sitting at this table, alone, doing her homework. I went and talked to her for the rest of the time before school. It was nice.

•English: Really good. We did group projects. I like my group. Annie #2 is in it. She was fun. And i think we are closer now. It was nice.

•Math- We got new stupid seats. So now I don't sit by Taylor anymore, or the other girl I talk to (more than Taylor). No, I sit by this kid who I sit by in Web Design who ANNOYS ME. UGH.

•Web Design- Before class I turned all the locks on the locks outside the room to set at "00." I've always wanted to do that. And I felt while I was doing it, that once I completed it, The wall would like, open, and treasures would be hiding behind it. All I got was a high five from this girl (Who I liked for the first week of class, not anymore. Turns out she's engaged")

•French- I laughed like, the whole class. It was fun. ALL until that whole song fiasco. Then that put me in a bad mood, and I feel really bad about it.

So yeah, that's my school day.

Au Revoir.

So I bet you've noticed. . . It did not take 3 minutes for this page to load.
That's cuz I deleted all of my journals, except the lyrics/poems.

But I will still add more "Daily Journals", it just might not be daily.

I think I'll delete these ones quicker though, just keep them posted for a while, then delete.
I guess people like to read my journals?

What's new with me since the last time I've posted:
I-I decided I'm going to homecoming. I'm going with a big group. It includes: Me, 5 girls, and one of the girls' boyfriend. One of the girls in the group is the girl I like.

II-The girl I like- I gave her a ride home last friday. I told her how these ReLiGiOuS people kept me after school for FORTY MINUTES talking about the Bible. (I'm not religious). She got upset, because she thinks I should believe, so she invited me to Youth Group. I wasn't fond of the idea, but I said I'll go, anyways, because I like her, and I couldn't say no. Well, I gave her my number, she never called. I hope I gave the right number, because otherwise she is probably mad at me, then.
That was MUCH longer than I thought it would be

III-I guess there isn't a three. Hmm, I guess I could say I've been sick since Friday night. Saturday was worst. Sunday started healing, but it still is crappy. Almost gone.

So, yeah.
Au Revoir, then.

I was playing Farmville on Facebook, and I typed the first stanza of this as a "Message Sign" as a joke, but then I decided I should create a whole song out of it.
So here you go.
It's a parody of "You Belong With Me" by the one and only Taylor Swift
---------------

You're on the farm with your chicken, it lays eggs
You're going off about having a great breakfast
You've been waiting 24 hours

I’m in my field
I’m harvesting my grapefruit
I’m picking out the next seeds that I’ll use
I’m thinkin’ I’m gonna plant sunflowers

Well you have horses
I have sheep
So will you give me something
That will make my farm complete
I’ll send you green hay
Well, I hope you don’t mind
That you wanted red
At least you were in mind

Can’t you see that I am going to beat you
I’ve been working all day long
I’ll plant my seeds
And buy some trees
Standing here by the white fence post
Waiting, ‘cause my peaches are growing
Off of my peach tree
Off of my peach tree

I walk out to meet the cows of my neighbor Steve
Looks like I’m gonna have to pick some weeds
Well, I’m wondering why he can’t do it himself
Never mind, this is easy

And you’ve got a sign that says “You’re the new Farmer Brown”
I sent it to you last night, you were out of town
You saw it and couldn’t help but laugh
It wasn’t funny, but, hey, I’ll take that

Well, you have cabbage
I’ve got coffee
will you give me something
That will make my farm complete
I’ll send you green hay
Well, I hope you don’t mind
That you wanted red
At least you were in mind

Can’t you see that I am going beat you
I’ve been working all day long
I’ll plant my seeds
And buy some trees
Standing here by the white fence post
Waiting, ‘cause my peaches are growing
Off of my peach tree
Off of my peach tree

Oh, I remember you rushing through my house
It was a quarter after nine
You said you had to check your plants
‘Cause you’re sure they’re about to die
You’ve waited for so long
You had to check your broccoli
Well, look who’s got it wrong
You’re gonna have to wait ‘til 3:00

Can’t you see that I am going to beat you
I’ve been working all day long
I’ll plant my seeds
And buy some trees
Standing here by the white fence post
Waiting, ‘cause my peaches are growing
Off of my peach tree
Off of my peach tree

Off of my peach tree
It has dark green leaves
Well, It’s my peach tree
Yeah, it’s my peach tree

I remember the first time
When I looked into your eyes
I can't forget what I saw
It was a perfect sight
I fell in love that night
But now all of that's gone

Since you left I've been here
Trying to fight back my tears
But they still fall
Now I'm lying in my bed
Where you used to rest your head
I'm praying you would call

In my dreams I see
A life with you and me
Together once again
So listen, my old friend
Please give me one more chance
And I can be your man
Because it's true
I can't live without you
Come and take my hand
If you'll give me one more chance

I'm listening to our song
I know it might be wrong
But it brings back sweet memories
I don't know why I'm doing this
I guess I want the things I miss
And I want you here with me

In my dreams I see
A life with you and me
Together once again
So listen, my old friend
Please give me one more chance
And I can be your man
Because it's true
I can't live without you
Come and take my hand
If you'll give me one more chance

In my dreams I see
A life with you and me
Together once again
So listen, my old friend
Come and take my hand,
If you'll give me one more chance

-------------------
The very first full lyric/poem I've written.

The lightning strikes as you turn the porch lamp on
And walk down to your car
The thunder rolls as you turn on the ignition
And drive down the boulevard

Tonight the world started to turn a little hazy
Fog's rolling over my home
In dark waters now, my life's changing right in front of me
What happens next is unknown

Oh, oh, and now

The rain is falling down
Over this Georgia town
And I can see the sun trying to break through
But you're there
Stopping the sun from shining to
Anywhere
And now I'm stuck in the darkness
Oh, I'm so far away from you

Now I'm sitting here alone in my bedroom
Listening to the rain fall
I'm not sure what I am going to do
I guess some guys can't have it all

Oh, oh, and still

The rain is falling down
Over this Georgia town
And I can see the sun trying to break through
But you're there
Stopping the sun from shining to
Anywhere
And now I'm stuck in the darkness
Oh, I'm so far away from you

I'm so far away from you

Go trip the light fantastic
As you stumble 'cross the floor
Show the world a smile
There's no need for nothing more

They all can see right through you
They can see the hurt inside
And all your liquid cover-up
Is known to all those eyes

So keep it calm, prove them wrong

You're a young heart with a tattered soul
Trying to get by in this hellhole
And no one seems to understand

They think you're crazy, half insane
But you don't want to play that game
You know it's out of your hands

They'll never know the real you
But you never show them what's true

Your stammer doesn't help your case
It's a disappointing sound
And those scars upon your wrist
Are just more faults that they have found

But you're right; if it helps you sleep at night

Everybody sees the signs
They can read between the lines
Don't tell me every one is wrong

I know in your mind, you are ok
But listen to what they have to say
You don't have to act so strong

Take a look inside yourself
You might find out you're someone else

You woke me up
To show me the day
And with that look in your eyes
I thought it would never go away

The air was crisp
There was a sparkle on the grass
I paused a moment to take it all in
Then came to my senses. I can't let this pass

But time moves quicker than expected
I wasn't ready for you to go

Don't fall down
I can't let you leave
Before I let you know
Don't fall down
We can make it right
If you could just stay for me tonight

I didn't mean to keep you waiting
Or seem like I didn't care

Don't fall down
I know we can make it right
Don't fall down
Could you stay with my tonight

It doesn't matter what I do or say
I know it won't make a difference
You've built your pedestal too high
And now you won't listen

I've tried to make it out
And leave a little sun behind
But you're making it too hard
To keep the decency in mind

Someday I hope you see
I wasn't quite as bad as you made me out to be

Now we can't go back
We've dug ourselves too deep
Crawling up these walls
Is nothing more than something left to dream

When you look at me like that
Disbelieving what I say
There's no wonder why you think
I don't treat you the right way

Maybe I didn't say "I love you"
Enough to make you feel at home
But if you took the time to think about
All the other things I've done

Maybe you'd see
I wasn't quite as bad as you made me out to be

But now we can't go back
We've dug ourselves too deep
Crawling up these walls
Is nothing more than something left to dream

We've lost it all
Ripped apart at the seams
Just let it be known
I wasn't quite as bad as you made me out to be

I can’t tell if you’re really there
I can’t tell if you really care
All I know is right now, I am alone

You kept me on the wall
Helped me up in case I’d fall
But that last time, you left me on my own

I thought I knew you
Inside and out
You left me here
Filled with all doubt

Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to you?
Was there something there
That I never knew?

Did I look too far
To see in front of me?
Was I making up excuses
For our instability?

Where did I go wrong?

I tried to call your way
But everything that I’d say
Lacked a listener, and lacked a reply

Weren’t you the one who told me that you’d be
Everything I’d ever need?
Does that mean I don’t need you tonight?

I thought I knew everything about you
I guess I was mistaken
Because I thought you wouldn't leave

Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to you?
Was there something there
That I never knew?

Did I look too far
To see in right front of me?
Was I making up excuses
For our instability?

Where did I go wrong?

Where did I go . . .?

I cannot wait for the day our eyes meet

And there’s that moment
When I know it’s meant to be

‘Cause everything in you
And everything in me
Everything around us
Starts the masterpiece we’ve created
And the lives we’ll grow to know

Though at times we might hate it
We’ll make it work

‘Cause when we’ve finally made it
There’ll be no reason to say good-bye

When we’ve made it
There’ll be no reason we can’t fly

When we’ve made it
There’ll be no use for the word good-bye

An Original
--
I have to say, I'm proud of myself for getting these allusions.
Although I ended up making Titanic sound more like their love died, not that death "delayed love."

And I do realise now I rhymed Again twice, Who cares?

And I ended up taking more of a humorous tone at the end.. The whole Titanic thing, I couldn't help myself.
-------------------------------

And when you look at me that way
It’s almost like you want me to stay
Well, I know you’re just caught up in the night
It’s not so easy that these things change

Like the way my name flowed from your lips
And the shock that sparked off your fingertips
It hasn’t been like this for a while
And I don’t know how it got like this

We were once a perfect set
Like Romeo and Juliet
Or Marie and Pierre
But our chemistry we had
Sparked too quick, then disappeared

And now our paths have crossed again
With a room full of our old friends
It’s all a big flash from the past
But I doubt that it will happen again

‘Cause you were Cher, singing your song
But it wasn’t Sonny for too long
You were Scarlett, I was Rhett
And now, my dear, I don’t give a damn
That’s another thing you can’t get

Oh, I was Jack, you were Rose
Our love was strong until it froze
You let me go

We were a perfect set
Like Romeo and Juliet


--------------
Marie and Pierre (curie) were partners in love and science.
I think those would be the only ones people wouldn't commonly know.

Maybe Scarlett and Rhett. . they are from Gone With The Wind