zxdreamerxz on September 10, 2007 i'm falling apart. my entire world as i know it is shattering into a million pieces second by second.
what began my eternal missery was my moving to a place i don't want to spend the rest of my life at. i don't plan on staying there long. i don't plan on letting myself be told what to do. hopefully life there ain't the way i'm told. but how naive am i to not understand life is like that there. it makes me sad to think my life is breaking into a million pieces.
the more they talk about it. the more i am reminded. the sadder i get. wtf... why is life so unfair? When i find the one person who makes me happy i am torn away from that person. i do not love this wonderful man i have as a bf, but i care much for him. i know he'll be hurt, that he'll cry, that he'll have his world fall apart also because i'm the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. it hurts me to think he's going to be hurt. it hurts me to be away from him. i do not love him, but i have grown accustomed to his love and words he says. he wants me to himself. & i feel like that's exactly how it should be.
idk if anyone reads this... but if someone does...
Can you tell me why life is so unfair?
Why does it tare you away from the things you love and care for?
Why do I have to leave the only place I've known?
Why do I have to move to a place I do not want to go to?
Why does life suck?
- 4 Entries
zxdreamerxz on August 05, 2007 ever since i can remember i wanted to be famous. to be remembered for something i did. at first i wanted to be a singer, actress or even a model. but then i realized that to be famous you don't have to be on television. but then again there's a saying that is very true. "good girls don't make history" and well i can basically say i'm a good girl. i'm not going around telling people what i think about politics, abortion, gay marriage or anything of that sort. i'm not the girl that you come to for advice... becuase all i'm really good at is listening. i have my moments though. i bust out with some random quote or saying i've heard before that i know is very much true. and well sometimes people thank me for that. just as well as they thank me for being me. a quiet girl who listens when their world is falling apart. i don't mind. i like to be the shoulder people cry on. but then again who is there for me. the last time i cried i was next to the most wonderful man in the world. he's been everything to me in the past two months. i can't say i love him... but i care for him. he says he loves me... but who am i to know if he's telling the truth or whether his actions towards me don't hide another intention. he says i'm not a whore. he says i'm beautiful. he says i'm the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. but yet we've only been together for three months. how are we to know that's what truly is what our hearts want? i love being around him. i love the way he makes me feel. i love the way he makes me smile. i love the way he makes the tears go away. but he doesn't know that the only thing that can make the pain go away. that the only thing that can make the tears dry up... is turning up the volume to radio. and just being there with me... holding me. as i breakdown and slowly began to recover without much doubt. even though his words don't fall behind with such experience. his words are all i really need and a good song to make things better. even when they really aren't. music makes the world go round. and without it i'd be nothing. it's my way of forgetting all my troubles all my sadnesss and this loneliness and emptiness i get when i shouldn't be having it. funny how i can write so much about anything... but when it comes to writing my stupid essay & my stupid reasearch paper i get writers block. how sad! hopefully this has made things clearer to me... so i can make my way back to thinking about the constitution and the federalists and the anti-federalists. =] No Comments
zxdreamerxz on July 29, 2007 you wont be his first, his last or his only he's loved before, he will love again, but if he loves you now what else matters? he's not perfect, and neither are you and the two of you will never be perfect. but if he makes you laugh, at least once causes you to thinkt twice and admits to being human and making mistakes hold on to him and give him all you've got he is not going to quote poetry he is not going to think of you every moment but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break don't hurt him, don't change him, don't expect too much from him smile when he makes you happy cry when he makes you sad & miss him when he's not there. No Comments
zxdreamerxz on July 27, 2007 what is trust? when should you know when to truly trust someone? i recently found myself loosing my trust for someone whom i love with all my heart. he means everything to me. but he did something he wasn't suppose to... and now i'm sad. someone help me! No Comments