After re-reading my past entries like I did in last post I never really saw that I was totally stupid!
All the internet guys (and yes my friend Jonathan was an internet one too) were just playing me in one way or another whether it was intentional or not....they played me!
They played my heart and my feelings and it hurt to know that I would never ever see them....but when you finally realize that you have to laugh(and mind you I realized that for a long time now).
But aside from the funny I have to talk about Augie...It will be a year in 2 days!!!!! And I have never felt so happy!! I know that true happiness is when you can see the persosn, feel their skin against your own, kiss them everytime you see them and know that they are yours and not just a blank screen. I love the feeling I get when I see his face or feel his love behind each kiss. Its amazing. God! I miss him just thinking about all that, haha.
But I know that I will see him soon :)

so till next time enjoy my blurb I guess....

LOVESSSSS
Lyss :D

So I was reading over my past entries and decided to laugh at them rather than cry since they are of the old me. I look back with a smirk since I have grown over the past 6 or so months since the days of Louie, Will, Chris(1 and 2..lol) and even Mark....these boys weren't real to me since they were never in front of my face. If you haven't guessed, they were all from the internet...classic huh?
Well then I guess you are wondering about Augie then, well I can assure you that Augie is real deal.
Augie is everything I can ever want...he is sweet, kind, caring, strong, handsome, amazing, wonderful, sexy, tough, sensitive, loving, charming, intellegent, adorable, and more.
We met in person in September and since then I have known the true meaning of love.
To say I love him is an understatment to how I feel for this man. I want everyone to know that I have found my soulmate. And for those who say there isn't anyone out there for you, you are wrong...when you least expect it, someone will open your heart to a love that will last a lifetime. Augie I love you <3 with all my heart and soul. You make me more happy than anyone or anything ever could <3.

I am offically in love with Augie and have been for over 3 months now...everyday I am with him is amazing. He makes me feel whole and no one else can compare to everything he is. He has these beautiful hazel green tint eyes that I find myself melting in everytime he looks at me. I can get enough of his strong warm arms that seem to hold me CLOSE to his heart. His kisses make me fall in love with him all over again. And our talks make me smile for hours. I love him with my whole heart and he is my one true soulmate. I love you Augie and I promise I always will.

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

So here it is...over a month and I can tell you each day i spend with Augie is truley wonderful. We share so much and its never boring or dull. If this is what true love feels like it is simply wonderful. Its like a nice warm comfortable sweater you wear when the cold hits you. I truely love my Augie and simpley cannot ask for more :)

<3333333

peace and love
~Lyss

So I am offically in love with a great guy. I met him at school about 2 weeks ago and I can tell you I never ever felt like this before. I am so happy its amazing:) Finally someone I can feel my most comfortable with and let all my secrets out.
Augie I love you so much and I always will...thank you for everything you do for me, you truly are amazing :)

So its been a few weeks now....or less than...I lost count.
But aside from that I have new reason to smile. Its in the form of Jonathan. A great friend who understands me for who I am. Its like without wanting something, it comes to you in a different way. And that's just what I needed. So thank you Jonathan, for everything. You truly are amazing.

The Winner Takes It All

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

~ABBA

So my real true happiness is gone because the distance has killed him and so he decided to end it.
I understood the best I could...

I sit and wonder sometimes if my life is a dream. I have been nothing but really happy for weeks now and I find it so odd because usually I am never so happy. Its a new feeling for me to be this happy. Maybe its because things are finally coming together or maybe its because there isn't anyone ruining my mood. Well whatever the case I am just really happy and I cannot questionit because I know why I am happy.....It is because I am making myself happy. And of course being with Chris these last few weeks has made me even more so...so for anyone out there I want to share my happiness with you....everyone take a little because i am sure I have enough for this whole world.

Enjoy and be Happy
peace and love

~Lyss :)

Well I am not jealous.....I have no reason to be but Will is....I find it very humerous.
He called me a whore!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! I am not a whore....I don't even sleep around....I don't fuck my friend for the hell of it...*cough*cough*
Well anyways its new to me that Will would be so damned jealous of Chris and I.
"He is just jealous I beat him to the punch..." that was so cute coming from Chris' mouth :)
Anyways if you must know Chris wanted to kill Will when I told him that he called me a whore...but made me feel better when he said "I don't love whores...Alyssa*...I love you" :)
HE LOVES ME!.....YES HE LOVES ME, BITCHES!

*that is my real name....just a side note

anyways I am just really happy. It feels good to be truely happy and at ease.

so yeah I think thats it for now

Peace and love


~Lyss
:):):):):)

Yeah that was my answer when Chris said "what would you say if I asked you to be in a relationship with me?"
Classic huh?
well that was the night before last...and he asked me and now I am in a relationship with him.....oh i forgot to mention I broke Louie's heart...I didn't want to break it but I had too, I needed to be without him. So now I am with Chris....and it feels soooooooooo surreal....like I cannot stop smiling.
Is this what real happiness is? I think so....I truley am so happy that I need to scream it out.
And finally I am relaxed. I think my life rocks!!!

~Lyss :):):):):)

Fuck Will! he is not worth it that fucking womanizing bitch who needs to grow up...seriously....
however Chris....HE LIKES ME!
YES!
I knew it!!!! So yeah he is my rock and its great...we talk about everything. We can fight, be honest and never hurt each others feelings so yeah....I guess the movies were right when they said..."Love is never having to say you are sorry."
Corny I know but yeah he likes me...and I like him!
and thats it.....I am so happy
OH!!!! did i meantion he has great timing? Like tonight I was being harassed by a friend whom I will not meantion....and he suddenly comes to my rescue when I say out loud "where is Chris when i need him?" and 5 minutes later, he calls...::sigh::
oh and how he told me he liked me was the best part ever!
"Its obvious I like you I just don't show it becuase I am a brick wall.....like when you cried I wanted to go to florida to kick Will's ass and then go to queens and say to Louie what the fuck are you thinking/doing?......if I could I would try to date you"
I adore him and now I am done rambling...
::Sigh::

~Lyss :) :) :) :)

I cannot lie to myself any longer.....I am in love with Will. He is the first person I think of when I wake up and when I go to bed. He is just in my mind all the time. And I hate it! I admitted to him that I hate when he calls be baby cuz I like it too much....Now thats his new pet name for me. Plus he loves that I call him baby...he thinks its hot. God what am I doing?!!?!? I shouldn't be in love with him! I can't be in love with him. But in my heart of hearts I know I love him. Sadly he will never love me back. And I know this.........

~Lyss

"you love me like a friend?"
"do you love me like a boyfriend?....you dont have to be with the person to love them like a boyfriend"
"you are pretty"
"i love you too babe"
"we are very special friends"
"i can tell you anything and you dont care"
"i trust you"
"technically i can replace you, but i don't want too"
"whats up babe?"

All these things were said to me and everytime he says one of them my heart skips....i dont want to fall for Will but he makes it so difficult for me....how can i fall for someone i don't know in front of my face....i need my best friend now!

~Lyss

I told him I want someone else besides my boyfriend and I said it was someone else. He told me to move on.....but before that he told me I should make him want me. Will why can't you see I want you so bad? I dont want the other guy cuz he doesn't get me like you do..... :( Guys are such idiots....and now I'm done.

~Lyss :(

OK....................
I told you all about Will right? Yes I have....okay.....I want him
Is that bad when you are in love with the greatest guy ever(for me that would be Louie) and want the utter "bad boy" per say (for me that would be Will)? Why yes I think thats bad....but you know what I can talk to Will about everything and anything. I can't do that with Louie....I mean I can't even talk about sex with Louie...He is my boyfriend.....its like he is too shy to even bring it up.
Okay thats not a real problem but the main one is that I want Will....I mean I want all of him...his mixed messages he gives me, the late night calls, the fact I can tell him EVERYTHING, the way we argue and he says "lets not fight babe", and especially how he makes me feel....oh and of course he is hot too....but we won't go there. But I can't do that to Louie...I love him.....(this would be the part where Will would say "you don't love him after all the shit he's put you through"). Okay what Louie put me through is fixed but I'll give you a bit of what went down.....He basically told me in so many words that he still loves his ex...CASE IN POINT: "She got rid of the dog I gave her for Christmas....it was so much more than the $900 i spent on it....I thought of it as our baby." :( yeah it stung and guess who helped me through it....yup thats right.....Will..."How is it that I am the one comforting you and he isn't?" He makes HUGE point.
Anyways.....why do I want him? I mean like when I met him I sorta kinda wanted him....but nothing like this...I mean he is all I think about lately....IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT WAY!
ugh....maybe i should sleep on it...
Sleep is good.....zzzzzzzzzz

~Lyss

Okay where should I start?
Maybe with the fact I love the fact I argue with him and he gets under my skin in the worst way. But I like every minute of it.
Oh...I forgot to mention who he is....he is Chris...no not the one from Decemeber....a different one.
Anyways I love to argue with him and his voice....God its so hot! Yeah I am a dork...but yeah....
But I am here to talk about my feelings.
Feeling 1. I can only feel with Louie, I dont think I can truely love him forever.
Feeling 2. I can talk to Chris and argue with him and it never changes a thing between us.
Feeling 3. I am confused but I should really let this pass by right? Right..... ugh
oh well its good to vent right?? I don't know...
oh and Feeling 4. I wish my boyfriend would talk rather than stay silent :(
and thats all....read this with caution...a little late for a warning huh? haha :-P

~Lyss :)

So I have this great friend Will.....we can talk about anything and I adore him! Sometimes with what we talk about I feel gulity as if I am betraying myself and everyone in my life...but he tells me never to feel gulity and just go with what I feel and that makes me smile. He always finds ways to make me laugh or smile...and blush like you wouldn't believe. I have never had a great friend like this in my life. I think if I didn't have him I would certainly drive myself up a wall. I wish I was friends with him longer...maybe then somethings wouldn't be so complicated with us. And thats all I have to say:)

~Lyss :)

that I am utterly confused and happy and the same time....
Should I be???? help!

~Lyss :(

If i wasn't in love with him before I am certainly in love with Louie now! He is so amazing!
and thats all I have to say really!

~Lyss :)

I am no longer with Mark...its been about a week since that happened. BHowever unlike most couples, we don't hate each other we have agreed to be friends and its a lot better that way. Now as for the title of this, Louie...Louie is a boy that i found myself really quickly wanting to be with. No, not a rebound! NEVER THAT! He is 100% wonderful and so sweet and senstive. I met him while I was with Mark so i shall tell you more about this boy I really have been falling for.
In fact I do love him already :)
And I guess thats it :)

~Lyss

Where to start? Ahh yes!
I have fallen for another guy. He is everything I want: tall, sexy, has tattoos and piercings and he actually likes me...A LOT! Just one problem: I have a boyfriend. Yes I love my boyfriend, but this guy who has "taken" my already taken heart is just so amazing and I am so confused. Anyways I am sure I will be able to figure out my head and my heart in once piece. Just till then I have a lot of thinking to do.

Peace and Love!
~Lyss:)

Well this week was certainly an adventure...
To give you the short end I was a mess and felt my life was crumbling down around me.....so my reaction to it all now is simply this :"eh! it happens."
Well to be honest as it was happening I was practically begging for sleep and now I think that I can finally get it on this cold Thursday night(yes i know i speak in run-on sentences).

Well I guess thats all....and I have one piece advice....Never think your world is ending, it is only begining.

"Just open your eyes, just open your eyes to see that life is beautiful..." ~ Sixx: A.M.

~ Lyss :)

i am absoutely in love with this song by Sixx: A.M, Nikki Sixx's new band! They are amazing and I think everyone should listen to them!
thanks all for my 1st journal entry!
love you guys!
~ Lyss :)